new journal name!!!!!!!!!

http://www.xanga.com/losexyourxkeys

mood: bored                  music: linsday lohan-over

i am not sure what i want to do, i am kinda sick of this journal name, i don't even really like wishbear all that much anymore! lol. and i think i want to change it, but i really don't want to lose all the entries that i have already made. i am not sure if i can just leave all these entries and comments behind. lol. i could always look back on them though, even if i got a new journal. what do you think, should i change it? so lets see, what have i been up to lately? going to school in the morning instead of the afternoon. i have been going mainly for molec, but i am also going for english and accounting. in english we are studying the play julius caesar by william shakespere. i am actually finding it kind of interesting so far. we read romeo and juliet last year, and i didn't really like it. and in molec the teacher wanted me to be there for a lab, in it we burnt peanuts and walnuts. thats really something that i am going to need in life! i don't understand why i had to be there for that! and i went to 4 stores to look fro stationary to write my new penpal , but none of them had any! so i am going to decorate my own paper! lol. i did find some cute stickers though! i think i have missed a week in math, because i have been going to my morning classes instead, well anyway my math teacher, mr. walton went to the guidance counselor and told her how far behind i am getting already. it hadn't even been a week since i had been there for gosh sakes! that man pisses me off so bad! so does the principal! i don't know if any two people have made me so mad before! i don't think i said before, you know when i said we had a meeting with them and he said i should think about dropping geometry? well he said" i think if we took some pressure off you your stomach pains will go away and you could come to school" that pissed me off so bad! he is such an ass, thats not how it works at all! well i have been trying to go for 3 weeks in a row now half days, and i am feeling worse. i am afraid i am going to run myself ragid. but i really do want to go. i want to prove all of those people wrong, show them i can do it and that i am serious. i showed them by getting all of my geometry done in time and i want to keep doing it. and i don't want full time tutoring, i want to see my friends. and i saw my tutor yesterday, and even she wasn't all that nice to me either. i am sick of that whole schools crap. and i am still poor, lol. i got some film developed so i am even poorer, lol. i think i have like $7, and thats only because i kept some of my extra lunch money, lol. and we got to keep my nephew gaige last night! too bad we had to go grocery shopping and we were in walmart most of the time! tomorrow my sister and i are going to church with my brother and his family. and then we are going out to lunch afterwards. its kinda weird, today at work my brother kept telling my sister we would have to get up early tomorrow and stuff, lol. why i say it is weird is because he usually doesn't ask us to go places. i can tell its important to him, so we are going to go. i think it will be cool, i haven't really gotten to spend "quality" time with him lately. well i think i better go, i'll try to write soon! and should i get a new journal name? lol.  danielle 

mood: blah                               music: nada surf-if you leave

so still not much has been going on, sorry i don't think this post will be interesting either. just homework, tests, and exams. i am so sick of it. my last exam is math tomorrow. i am so happy, i am going to get everything done! i wasn't sure if i really could or not. i keep telling myself some points are better than none and if i don't get grades like i usually do, then thats okay. as long as i don't go below a C, i think i will be okay with it.i don't really care about my grades and school anymore. but today i kinda lost it. i ws crying and screaming at my mom. i didn't think there was any point in me going until after school to take exams. and i really felt awful. i went before anyway and i thought i was fine when i got there, but when someone asked me what was wrong i started crying again. that happened twice. but when i was left alone and sat and did my math test and breathed deep a couple of times i was fine. i hate crying at school. it was my tutor who asked me first and then that mean secretary i talked about in an early entry. she has been nice to me ever since. i just feel like they think less of me now or something, i don't know. i guess i just have too much on my plate right now. and i hate to admit that, its like i should be able to handle what comes my way, i feel like if i don't i fail, you know? it makes me feel weaker as a person. i don't know i guess i just had a breakdown today, it sucks that some of it happened at school though. at least no students saw me. i guess you have to have a breakdown sometime or other. and still, not all of the teachers have gotten my first nine weeks grade in! i am so ma! for the first nine weekes i have a C in english, i should have a B or A. and i just found out yesterday, my best friend jess isn't going to be going to our school next year. i don't think it has really set in yet, i think i am hoping she will change her mind. and one of my other best friends jera might not be going to our school next year either! it sucks so much! i am really sad about all of it.  i think i am really just hoping that they don't go! they are like my 2 best friends. i am just so glad that tomorrow i am going to be done with the second nine weeks, but now i have to worry about the nine weeks that we are on now, like none of the teachers have given me any of the assignments for this nine weeks. i don't know when i can see them to get the assignments either, its like thats what i have a tutor for, when i am not in your class give her the assignments. i think its dumb that none of them are. i just feel so drained right now. like, i don't now if even going half days is going to work. i had better try to make it work now. its like, i shouldn't be feeling like this as a teenager, these are supposed to be the best years of your life. if these are the best, what is the future going to be like? i don't know, but i think i need to be cheered up, i should ask jess and jera over for a sleepover this weekend. that would be so cool and cheer me up. but i would have to clean my room first! lol. its like the day after i clean it, its dirty again. the main thing is that i don't put my clothes away, i don't know why i don't like to, but i just don't. i should make up little invitations tonight! lol. i hope they can come! but i have to ask my mom if i can even have a sleep over yet! sorry if i am boring you, but i just feel like a have to write a long entry this time, lol. i think i have been depressed lately because the past two days i have gotten a large twist ice cream cone. its funny how chocolate can make you feel better. i am also sorry this entry is depressing, but i am in that mood, lol. i hope i am out of this mood soon, its not fun to be sad. i was happy to see landyn and gaige today though, no matter how mad i am, landyn can always put a smile on my face. so lets see, i am broke and i ordered girl scout cookies, 2 boxes which is $6. i haven't paid for the cookies yet. and right now i only have $7. and i also need to get my film developed and buy another roll of film. i need at least 5 more dollars! maybe i can clean the house or something. well i better go, maybe make some invitations if i am allowed and study for my math exam. i'll try to write soon! Danielle

mood: excited!!                       music: lifehouse

so lets see, what has happened since i have last written? well pretty much all my money is spent and pretty much all i have to show for it is a hair straightner and a fish named friend, lol. i bought a lot more little stuff i guess, i don't even remember half of what i bought! lol. thats horrible! my hair is straight anyway, but i want it to be really straight. and i was tired of just the frogs, i wanted a fish and i thought the name friend fit him, so thats his name. at the pet store i had to have one particular fish and i wanted him, lol. he is a calico type fin-tailed goldfish. but my frogs were mean to him and bit his fins! i was so mad! there are actually holes and missing pieces! so i put the frogs in a new tank and am thinking about getting them a new home, lol. and i want to get another fish so friend isn't lonely. i think i want an all golden one this time. and during my break i didn't really get any homework done so i am trying to cram to get it all done and be able to go to school on thursday. i did so much yesterday my head really hurt, lol. but i still have so much more to do, its kinda depressing. and OMG!!! at like 5 this morning, another little nephew was born! i haven't gotten to see him yet, but i think i am going to today! i am so excited!!!!!! his name is going to be Sawyer, its not a bad name i guess, just not one i would have chosen, lol. but i will love him all the same! lol. i can't wait to see him!!!! when i have kids i want to have at least 2, i want to name a boy Colby and a girl Fallon. and i think my baby L-dawg gets to come over today! i call Landyn that, lol. i think he is going to be so jealous of the new baby, he is so used to being the center of attention and being the baby. there is room for both of them in my heart! lol. i just can't wait!! lets see, what homework do i have to do? research hockey and table tennis and type up all 5 of the reports i have to do to complete gym, look up information for a research paper and come up with a thesis for english, do a reinforcement and a whole chapter in accounting, do section 2 and 4 assesments in history, and do a whole chapter in geometry, which won't be easy at all. the list is down a lot form yesterday, which makes me feel a lot better. did i tell you about what happened the day before break? well it was the end of 7th period and when i was sitting there i really didn't feel good so i went down to the office to call my mom. i said "i don't feel good, can i call home?" and shes "like what? you know theres only one period left." duh of course i know theres only one period you idiot, i have only been going here for 2 years now. and the principle is standing there and says " did you go up and get your work, i think you should. i think you should stay and get some help from classmates" i say " i am getting help from my friend jessica, she took geomatry last year" then hes like "where do you live?" i tell him and hes like " you are going to make your mom drive all that way for one period?" which we don't even live 10 minutes away. i am like " no shes at work and will pick me up" he said" so will she take you all the way home" and i said " maybe, but if shes not done at work she probably will take me back there" i wasn't going to lie. hes like " so you would rather sit there than stay here" and gives me this dirty look. he was blocking the phone so i couldn't get to it. when he finally moves i call and when i am on the phone the counselor comes up and hassles me. she says she thinks i should stay, its one period and she thinks i should get some help with math, i tell again i am getting help from jessica. then the secretary is really bitchy again, i didn't get a hold of my mom, she was on break but someone told her to get me. the secretary tells me to get my stuff and come back. i stand there for like over 5 minutes with my really heavy bookbag, it was so filled i had to carry like 2 books in my hand. and she finally says in a mean tone, since i didn't talk to your mom she has to come in. so i ask if i i leave my stuff there could i go out and tell her. she says fine. i come out crying and my mom knew something was wrong. so i told her the whole thing. i was just so angry and upset, i didn't feel good, even if there is only 1 period left, you can't hassle me into staying. and they had said before even if i only stayed like 2 hours that would be great. i had been there all day, i can go home if i want to. and they really can't do anything about it because ALL my absences are doctors excused. they might have said more, but i don't really remember it all now. it just made me so mad!! i don't ever want to see any of them again! sorry to make this entry so long, but it made me feel better to type that whole story out. i'll try to write soon! Danielle